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  • Jofre Beltran

10 Movies my Mom Makes me Watch Every December from Worst to Best

My mother is a Christmas fanatic. She starts bumping the holiday tunes around August and it wouldn’t surprise me if she was the only middle-aged woman still doing snow day rituals. So Christmas movies are a big deal. Please enjoy some of the standout features that I’ve been forced to see every year.

10.) The Polar Express (2004)

Robert Zemeckis turns Tom Hanks into a CGI abomination of a train conductor. The art style really falls into the uncanny valley for me in this flick about a boy who goes on a midnight adventure to the North Pole. The journey is both a literal one and one of self discovery as the boy learns that you should always believe in the magic of Christmas. The movie isn’t all bad though, the hot chocolate song slaps but unfortunately they have the know-it-all kid who i just want to punch in his uncomfortably soft CGI face.

9.) The Santa Clause (1994)

Tim Allen kills Santa Claus and takes his place. What? Yeah, that’s the plot. Tim Allen plays a father who got custody of his son over Christmas, but as a workaholic parent tends to do, totally doesn’t understand his kid. Then he scares Santa who falls of his roof and frickin dies. Naturally Tim Allen puts on his clothes only to discover he is now locked into a contract with the North Pole as the new Santa.

8.) Jack Frost (1998)

This one is like Frosty the Snowman on crack. Michael Keaton plays Jack Frost, a dad by day, rockstar by night, and snowman after death. That’s right, after dying Jack is given a second chance at life by being reincarnated as a snowman. Kinda weird, right? Sure, but this classic piece of cinema contains one of the best snowboard chase scenes of all time. And it also has a good amount of feel-good moments. What more would you want from a Christmas movie?

7.) How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Green hairy man who lives in a cave decides that if he can’t have a merry Christmas than no one can. He then enlists his sidekick pooch named Max to act as a reindeer on a night of thievery as the Grinch steals every present from Whoville. Jim Carrey stars as himself with a PG-rating restriction. Anthony Hopkins narrates this children's tale and it was all directed by some nobody named Ron Howard. Bet that guy will never make it in Hollywood.

6.) A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

I guess technically this is a short film, but it’s just too important to be left behind. Charlie Brown is the director of the Christmas play. But everything falls apart when Charlie notices they don’t have a Christmas tree. The only tree charlie can find is really small and everyone hates it. Cue the real meaning of Christmas and you got yourself a holiday classic.

5.) Home Alone (1990)

Kevin Mccallister tells his mom to f*** off and then his entire family accidentally leaves him home alone. Kevin now thinks he wished away his whole family, and instead of trying to use his new god-like abilities for global domination he simply lives a quiet life at home. Until the 'Wet Bandits' try to rob him. Now it's a fight for survival! Great family flick!

4.) A Christmas Story (1983)

This is your Christmas. You lived this movie.

3.) Elf (2003)

The guy who directed Iron Man captures Will Ferrell on screen as Buddy the elf. Buddy is a human adopted and raised by the elves in Santa's workshop. But now he is on a quest to New York City in order to find his biological father. It gets complicated though when Buddy learns that life in the Big Apple is harsh and his dad is a businessman who hates love.

2.) National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

Chevy Chase plays a man on a mission to have the perfect Griswold family Christmas. That alone is a joke.

1.) It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

Words cannot describe how much I love this film. I truly consider this movie to be a flawless work of art. It's about a man named George Bailey who decides that life just isn't worth living anymore. So on Christmas Eve he stands on the edge of a bridge ready to leap into the unknown abyss below. Suddenly he is saved by his guardian angel, who grants George's wish of having never been born. This creates lasting effects on the whole town as George sees all the good he has done for people. It's probably one of my favorite movies of all time and I cry a lot watching it. Also James Stewart has a really nice speaking voice and that alone should give you enough reason to watch this movie.

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